👨👩👧 Custody and contact rights after separation
In brief
Separation and divorce in principle change nothing about custody: if both parents were married at the birth or have made a declaration of custody, joint parental custody remains (§ 1626 BGB), even if one parent moves out. For everyday decisions, only the parent with whom the child lives is responsible (§ 1687 Abs. 1 BGB); decisions of considerable importance for the child – such as choice of school, major medical procedures, moving abroad – still require the agreement of both parents.
Regardless of custody, every child has the right to contact with both parents, and each parent has their own contact right with the child (§ 1684 BGB). If the parents cannot agree, the family court decides on the basis of the child's best interests (§ 1697a BGB).
Step by step
- In principle continue joint custodyClarify which decisions can be made alone as everyday matters and which must be agreed jointly.
- Agree a contact arrangementWhere possible, agree when and how often the other parent has contact with the child.
- In case of disagreement, involve the JugendamtThe Jugendamt (youth welfare office) advises free of charge on custody and contact issues and can help with mediation (§ 18 SGB VIII).
- Application to the family courtIf no agreement is reached, either parent can apply for a court ruling on custody or contact rights.
- Keep the child's best interests in viewInvolve the child in an age-appropriate way, but do not burden them with the parental conflict – advice centres can help with this.
Deadlines
- Moving to another city or abroad with the child generally requires consent where custody is joint – a unilateral move can have legal consequences.
- Refusing contact without good reason can have a negative effect on later custody decisions, because courts take into account each parent's so-called willingness to foster the child's bond with the other parent (Bindungstoleranz).
- For benefits specific to single parents such as advance maintenance payments (Unterhaltsvorschuss), additional needs allowance in basic income support or the relief amount (Entlastungsbetrag), the Wegweiser for single mothers (Alleinerziehende Mütter) provides information – this page covers only the family law basics of custody and contact.
- In cases of domestic violence, the family court can restrict or exclude contact if this is necessary to protect the child or the affected parent.
In depth · legal basis, figures and practice – for advisers and professionals
Joint parental custody (§ 1626 BGB)
Joint parental custody continues regardless of whether the parents live together, as long as it is not changed by a court. Under § 1687 Abs. 1 BGB, decisions in matters of considerable importance for the child require mutual consent where the parents live separately and joint custody continues; decisions of daily life, by contrast, are made by the parent alone with whom the child habitually lives with the other parent's consent.
Transfer of sole custody (§ 1671 BGB)
A parent can apply to have parental custody or a part of it transferred to them alone if either the other parent consents (unless the child objects and is over 14 years old) or it is to be expected that ending joint custody and transferring it to the applicant best serves the child's best interests (§ 1671 Abs. 1 BGB).
Contact rights (§ 1684 BGB) and shared residence model
Contact rights belong reciprocally to child and parent. The Federal Court of Justice has held that, within a contact arrangement under § 1684 BGB, a court can also order an equal shared residence model if this best serves the child's best interests in the individual case – provided the parents are in principle able to communicate and cooperate (BGH, decision of 1 February 2017, XII ZB 601/15). For details see the separate topic page on the shared residence model.
Advice from the Jugendamt
Under § 18 SGB VIII, parents are entitled to advice on exercising parental custody and contact rights, in particular on separation and divorce.
A question about your situation that this page does not answer? Write to us or use the contact form – we will tell you which office is responsible and what to bring. Free of charge, without individual legal advice.