🧭 Recognising loneliness: overview
In brief
Being alone and loneliness are two different things. Being alone is an objective state – you are without other people for a while, often by choice. Loneliness, by contrast, is a subjective feeling: the gap between the social contacts you want and the ones you actually have. You can feel lonely in a relationship or in the middle of a crowd – and equally be content on your own. Loneliness is not an illness but a feeling that can affect anyone, and if it lasts a long time it goes along with a higher risk of mental and physical problems.
Step by step
- Ask yourself honestlyHow often in recent weeks have you felt that you lack company, that you are left out or that there is nobody you can turn to? Short self-report scales such as the UCLA 3-item short scale use exactly these three questions.
- Assess duration and intensityTemporary loneliness after moving house or changing jobs is normal. What matters is whether the feeling lasts for weeks and months and weighs on your daily life.
- Watch for accompanying symptomsWithdrawing from contacts, sleep problems, lack of drive or a feeling of "no longer belonging" can occur together with loneliness and should be taken seriously.
- Talk to someone about itWhether a trusted person, your GP practice or an anonymous hotline: saying it out loud is the first step – loneliness is considered one of the feelings most laden with shame.
- Choose the right next stepDepending on the situation, this can be a counselling conversation, a local group or – in the case of acute warning signs – professional help.
Deadlines
- Being alone and loneliness are often confused: someone who enjoys being alone is not necessarily lonely – and someone with many contacts can still feel lonely.
- Loneliness does not only affect older people. Studies repeatedly show that young adults and people in midlife are also strongly affected.
- Different studies measure loneliness with different scales and samples – percentages from different sources are therefore not readily comparable (see In depth).
- Do not wait for a "right occasion" to bring it up – a short conversation is enough to start.
In depth · legal basis, figures and practice – for advisers and professionals
Clarification of terms
Since Weiss (1973), research has distinguished between emotional loneliness (absence of a close attachment figure) and social loneliness (absence of a supportive network or group membership). It is usually measured with standardised scales such as the UCLA Loneliness Scale or the De Jong Gierveld scale, which capture the subjectively perceived discrepancy between desired and actual relationships – not the mere number of contacts.
How widespread is loneliness in Germany – what the figures really show
Reliable but not directly comparable data sources:
- In its loneliness barometer, the Kompetenznetz Einsamkeit analyses long-term data from the Socio-Economic Panel (SOEP): the share of people affected by loneliness in the total population was around 7.6 % in 2017, rose to around 28.2 % in 2020 – during the coronavirus pandemic – and was around 11.3 % in 2021. Women had higher values than men in all three survey years.
- The German Ageing Survey (DEAS) of the Deutsches Zentrum für Altersfragen (DZA) found in 2025: about one in eleven respondents aged 43 and over felt "very lonely" (around 9 %) – notably, people in midlife (aged 43–55) were on average lonelier than people aged 76 and over.
- The Robert Koch-Institut, in the Journal of Health Monitoring 3/2023 and based on the GEDA study, puts the share of lonely people aged 50 and over at around 8.3 %.
These three figures (SOEP barometer, DEAS, RKI/GEDA) are based on different scales, age groups and survey years and must not be misread as a single, consistent "loneliness rate". They do consistently show, however: loneliness is a mass phenomenon, not a marginal problem, and rose noticeably during the pandemic.
National Strategy against Loneliness
In December 2023 the Federal Government adopted the National Strategy against Loneliness with 111 individual measures. The Kompetenznetz Einsamkeit (based at the Institut für Sozialarbeit und Sozialpädagogik, ISS) runs the coordinating office accompanying the strategy on behalf of the Federal Ministry for Education, Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth (BMBFSFJ) and publishes the annual loneliness barometer as well as topic-specific in-depth analyses (2026: focus on people with disabilities). In June 2026, as part of the action week "Gemeinsam aus der Einsamkeit" (Together out of loneliness), the Alliance against Loneliness (Allianz gegen Einsamkeit) was also launched, an alliance of the federal government, the Länder, civil society and business.
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