💔 Loneliness after bereavement or separation
In brief
After the death of someone close or a separation, it is normal to feel lonely for a while – everyday life, shared routines and a familiar person to talk to are suddenly missing. For most people this feeling eases over time. If it continues undiminished for many months and prevents you from coping with daily life, however, it can point to what is called prolonged grief disorder, for which there are specific support services.
Step by step
- Allow grief rather than building up time pressureThere is no "right" length of grief. Comparing yourself with others affected rarely helps.
- Seek a grief group or grief supportHospice services, welfare associations and church organisations offer free or inexpensive grief groups and one-to-one support, often specialised by type of loss (e.g. bereaved parents, widowed people).
- Clarify financial and administrative questions earlyAfter a death, survivors' pensions (§§ 46 ff. SGB VI), funeral costs and inheritance matters govern the transition; early advice from the pension insurance or a social advice centre eases the burden.
- If distress persists, seek medical/therapeutic helpIf the distress continues undiminished for over 6 months and clearly affects daily life, it should be assessed by a doctor or psychotherapist (see the page on psychotherapy and cost coverage).
- After a separation, deliberately build new contactsClubs, self-help groups or volunteering help you actively widen the social network that has shrunk through a separation.
Deadlines
- Since 2022 the WHO classification ICD-11 has included the diagnosis "prolonged grief disorder"; it is only made when symptoms clearly exceed what is culturally expected for at least 6 months – a snapshot is not enough for this diagnosis.
- Distress comparable to grief can also occur after a separation (not only after a death); many grief services expressly also admit people after separations.
- Children grieve differently from adults and often need their own age-appropriate services (e.g. specialised grief groups for bereaved children).
- The amount and duration of widow's/widower's pension depend on factors such as date of marriage, age and own income; flat amounts cannot responsibly be given here.
In depth · legal basis, figures and practice – for advisers and professionals
Prolonged grief disorder
With ICD-11, "prolonged grief disorder" was included in 2022 for the first time as a distinct diagnosis. It is characterised by intense longing for the deceased person or preoccupation with the loss lasting at least six months, combined with considerable impairment of everyday functioning – clearly beyond the level of grief expected in the culture concerned. The diagnosis allows targeted professional treatment, such as specialised grief therapy, but differs from a "normal", if painful, grief reaction.
Survivors' pension
Under §§ 46 ff. SGB VI, surviving spouses receive, under certain conditions, a small (time-limited, as a rule 24 months) or large widow's/widower's pension (in case of own reduced earning capacity, child-rearing or from a certain age). In the month of death and the following three calendar months (the so-called Sterbevierteljahr), own income is not offset against the pension under § 97 SGB VI; after that, income is offset above an allowance.
Grief support as a structure
In Germany, grief support is mainly offered by outpatient hospice services, welfare associations (Caritas, Diakonie, German Red Cross and others) and specialised associations (e.g. for bereaved parents), usually free of charge or for a small contribution, sustained by volunteering, donations and in part municipal/church funding. According to the available information, there is no nationally uniform legal entitlement to grief support.
A question about your situation that this page does not answer? Write to us or use the contact form – we will tell you which office is responsible and what to bring. Free of charge, without individual legal advice.