🤝 Relatives of people with depression
In brief
When someone close to you has depression, many relatives want to help – and easily reach their own limits. You can support, listen and stand by when organising help; but the treatment itself can and must be tackled by the person affected with professional help.
If you are thinking about suicide right now or are in acute danger: Call the emergency number 112 or the TelefonSeelsorge (telephone counselling service) immediately – free of charge, anonymous, around the clock: 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222 (telefonseelsorge.de). You do not have to wait for an appointment to become free. As a relative, too, you may and should get help yourself if you recognise danger, even if the person affected refuses at that moment.
Step by step
- Listen without pushingSignal understanding and willingness to talk, without forcing advice or time pressure.
- Organise professional help togetherOffer to help with finding a GP, therapy place or appointments, if that is wanted.
- Act in case of acute dangerIf suicide risk is recognisable, contact the emergency number 112 or TelefonSeelsorge immediately – even against the will of the person affected if there is imminent danger.
- Discuss precautionsAs long as the person affected is capable of giving consent, a power of attorney for care matters or an advance guardianship directive (Betreuungsverfügung) can be sensible so that in an emergency someone they trust is legally able to act.
- Seek relief for yourselfUse relatives' counselling, self-help groups for relatives or your own therapy so as not to overburden yourself.
Deadlines
- Spouses in Germany have no automatic, unlimited right of representation in health matters – without a power of attorney for care matters, since 2023 only the emergency spousal representation right, limited in time to at most six months, applies, and even that does not apply to placement involving deprivation of liberty.
- Without a power of attorney for care matters, in case of permanent incapacity to decide, legal guardianship by the guardianship court may become necessary – relatives are appointed as guardians with priority, but not automatically.
- You cannot "fix" the illness of someone close to you – overload often harms both sides; your own limits are not a failure.
- For minor children of parents with depression, child and youth welfare support services (e.g. via the Jugendamt, youth welfare office) may additionally be relevant.
In depth · legal basis, figures and practice – for advisers and professionals
Emergency spousal representation (§ 1358 BGB)
Since 1 January 2023, spouses may represent each other in certain health matters if one person, because of unconsciousness or illness, is temporarily unable to take care of their health care matters themselves. The power of representation is limited to a maximum of six months from the medical finding, covers only medical decisions (consent to examinations and treatment, conclusion of treatment and hospital contracts) and expressly does not apply to placement involving deprivation of liberty. It lapses if spouses live apart or the will of the person affected is recognisably opposed.
Power of attorney for care matters and advance guardianship directive
Any person capable of giving consent can create a power of attorney for care matters, regardless of marital status, for a trusted person of their choice, and it applies without time limit until revoked. An advance guardianship directive expresses wishes in case legal guardianship has to be established later; under the principle of necessity (§ 1814 para. 3 BGB), the guardianship court appoints a guardian only if there is no power of attorney and there is actually a need for support.
Self-care as a relative
Relatives of people with mental illness carry an increased risk of their own overload. Relatives' counselling, psychosocial advice centres and special self-help groups for relatives (e.g. arranged via NAKOS) offer relief and exchange.
A question about your situation that this page does not answer? Write to us or use the contact form – we will tell you which office is responsible and what to bring. Free of charge, without individual legal advice.